Awesome Game Powers I Wish I Had In Real Life

Life can sometimes be….boring. You have the laws of physics and the limitations of human biology to keep us, grounded. perhaps more of a meatbag that keeps an organic computer. That sounds pretty cool, but really, the organic computer that we carry around can vary from person to person. I mean we have anti-vaxxers walking around today, so really, nothing much to say there.

But in my time playing video games during this period of time, The Great Indoors, as I coined it, gave me a lot of time to reflect on a different universe. A universe where you can have powers that you’ll find in a video game. Who never had fantasies about having superpowers from the game they’ve played? Imagine having power-up sodas from BioShock just lying around, waiting to be collected?

Humor me.

To keep things simple and rather interesting, I’m not going to include superheroes, because obviously having superpowers is part of their identity. So no superhero franchise video games.

Teleportation – Dishonored

Surprise, BITCH!

Have you ever woken up in a middle of a nap, that ended up taking 3 hours and the sun is about to set? The total disarray felt by the body and mind realizing you’ve spent yet another Sunday afternoon falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. And to make things worse, you’re thirsty.

Every god damn Sunday.

Yes, I’m using a very specific example, but you get the idea. Teleportation is a great power to have in your regular ol’ life. Forgot your car keys when you’re at the lobby of condominium? Teleport back to your unit. Unable to get out of a cramped Asian train? Teleport out, and maybe be worshipped as a God (optional). Forgot to bring your food out of the kitchen? Get those bad boys to the couch instantly.

The point is many other games have featured teleportation as a power, or rather teleportation in itself has been featured in alot of sci fi media. However, none of them made it as cool as how Dishonored did it. Wisp of black smoke as you teleport to said location, and whispers in the air announcing your arrival. Now that’s how you leave an impression. Although, you might be mistaken for a evil being from a dimension, but that’s a problem you can just teleport away from.

Levitation – Control

Fences are for mortals.

Throughout human history, we always wanted to fly. Being earth bound for thousand of years, we’ve dreamt about leaving our earthly shackles behind and beat gravity. To kick birds midair and show them who’s boss. Man, I wanted to kick that pigeon that left a slurry turd on my car window. But I digress.

Control features a pretty cool levitation power. Defy gravity and float ever so gracefully towards your location. Don’t let things like weight weigh (HA!) you down. Simply levitate. Got new kicks and there’s a giant mud puddle? Levitate across it.

Pesky walls, buildings, fences blocking your path? You guessed it. Levitate, baby.

Trying to prove a point and need to drive it home? Use stern words and levitate with each uttered syllable. That’ll show em!

Like this, but with levitation.

Rewind Time – Prince of Persia

Resurrection now comes instantly instead of 3 days.

There were times that I wish I didn’t say some things. Sure, a person taking the high road would use these powers to correct certain things in the past. An unresolved conflict, a traumatic experience. Or perhaps to never utter words that would destroy relationships.

See, that’s all fine and dandy, but what I’ll use the power to rewind time in short bursts to master craft the perfect zingers in an argument. No longer will my mind offer me better comebacks 12 days after the matter of fact. I can just rewind back in time over and over to deliver the killing blow, with my words. Or perhaps it’s an accidental text or a weak rebuttal work email. You can’t show weakness in these situations. Rewind time and never have to deal with living with consequences.

HR is not going to win this time.

I would also use this power to make my entrance on Youtube and make parkour videos. Making extreme parkour videos and nailing it every single time.

We all wanna parkour deep down.

Augmentations – Deus Ex/Cyberpunk 2077

HERE’S 101010101000101!

Let’s face it. Evolution can take us so far. And our brain had to evolve so fast that every other parts of our body couldn’t keep up with the innovations that we come up with every century or so. We went from eating poop mushrooms in great African savannah to watching cat videos while taking a dump in a heated toilet.

Life is good, but we’re still the same weak, fragile mass of blood bags that can easily get injured. Hell, we can’t even fight off diseases without a leg up. Exhibit A: LOOK AT WHAT’S HAPPENING AROUND YOU RECENTLY. That’s where augmentation comes to play.

If you’re into sci-fi or cyberpunk themes, you know how great augmentation. You’re basically upgrading your organs and body parts into something more durable. Mantis blades from Cyberpunk. You’re walking Swiss knife.

+10 Vision, -25 Stealth, +9000 Style

Forget phones and screens. It’s all inside you now. Have secret conversations with someone without uttering a single syllable. Imagine talking shit about a Karen with your friend right in front of her. I imagine that experience to be cathartic or at the very least, you have something post on your social media since you’ve recorded everything using your video camera eyeballs.

In Deus Ex, you can even analyze the mental state of an individual. Can you imagine scanning the mental state of everyone in a room before committing to staying there? It would probably save you from being part of an awkward conversation. Or maybe your partner is in a shitty mood. Immediately leave and crash at your friend’s place.

Or maybe you just want to get jacked. Like mad jacked. And who cares about big protein based muscles when you can have reinforced titanium weaved with Kevlar as an arm? Also, you probably want to get an upgrade that holds a cannon in it. Trust me, it’s good to be armed (HA!).

The list of potential goes on.

Conclusion ??

Well , there’s nothing much to this article except for me sharing things I’ve thought about throughout the day. Or when I watched Disney + and had a passing thought about superpowers in real life. There’s no merit to this except perhaps reading this article would incite a couple of chuckles. Thanks for joining me for the ride. Hope you enjoyed it. Peace out!



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